Evolution vs Language

Much loch th' evolution ay a species, th' evolution ay a leid is due tae mony factors. a body ay th' biggest factors in baith situations is isolation. if a crew ay members ay a species is separated frae th' others by, let's say, bein' oan an islain, th' differences atween th' isolated crew an' lae ay th' species will be undeniable. that's wa th' iguanas frae th' galapagos islands ur sae big. its loch if th' other iguanas, due tae nae bein' oan th' islain, didne gie th' memo sayin' 'at bein' big was hip. th' sam happens in leid. irish sassenach, scottish sassenach, an' oxford sassenach waur ance exactly th' sam. they aw took different paths when they foond themselves in different islands ur regions. upon discoverin' each other, they waur obvioosly confused. confusion becam anger, an' that's wa th' uk hates each other. weel, partly. hink ay it thes way. imagine 'at ye ur a stoatin galapos iguana an' suddenly ye fin' thes hin' 'at looks jist loch ye but wee. thes iguana is naethin' but a wrang, inferiur representation ay yerself. 'at is th' way th' sassenach felt towards th' scottish an' th' irish. they felt disgusted by th' bastardization ay their leid an' felt superiur tae them 'en again, th' sassenach feel superiur tae a' fowk. whit aam tryin' tae say is 'at isolation leids tae difference, an' difference leids tae hate. 

movin' oan, as isolation becam harder tae accomplish wi' th' years, changes in leid cam tae be via mixin'. in an attempt tae continue thes relationship atween creature evolution an' leid evolution, Ah will relate th' mixin' ay leid wi' cross-breedin'. weel, eh'd loch tae, but ken naethin' abit cross-breedin' an' dinnae caur tae research. whit Ah can research is th' mixin' ay languages. by watchin' th' foorth episode ay th' story ay sassenach, Ah foond it 'at soothern american accents ur actually evolutions ay th' scottish sassenach. thes was due tae th' arrival ay scottish immigrants fa traveled doon th' moontains. Ah guess 'at scottish sassenach an' american sassenach got alang bonnie weel an' gae birth tae hillbillies. weel, nae hillbillies but whit comes it their gob. 'at still soonds bonnie unsettlin' an' weird. a factur ay evolution 'at Ah woods loch tae see mair ay in leid is natural selection. wa ur ye prood ay yer accent coz nae a body understands it? in nature, ye dornt see white tigers showin' aff tae their orange coonter parts hoo they cannae hunt coz they're aye spottend when they hide.

Much like the evolution of a species, the evolution of a language is due to many factors. One of the biggest factors in both situations is isolation. If a group of members of a species is separated from the others by, let's say, being on an island, the differences between the isolated group and the rest of the species will be undeniable. That's why the iguanas from the Galapagos islands are so big. Its like if the other iguanas, due to not being on the island, didn't get the memo saying that being big was hip. The same happens in language. Irish English, Scottish English, and Oxford English were once exactly the same. They all took different paths when they found themselves in different islands or regions. Upon discovering each other, they were obviously confused. Confusion became anger, and that's why the UK hates each other. Well, partly. Think of it this way. Imagine that you are a great Galapagos iguana and suddenly you find this thing that looks just like you but tiny. This iguana is nothing but a wrong, inferior representation of yourself. That is the way the English felt towards the Scottish and the Irish. They felt disgusted by the bastardization of their language and felt superior to them Then again, the English feel superior to everyone. What I'm trying to say is that isolation leads to difference, and difference leads to hate.

Moving on, as isolation became harder to accomplish with the years, changes in language came to be via mixing. In an attempt to continue this relationship between creature evolution and language evolution, I will relate the mixing of language with cross-breeding. Well, I'd like to, but know nothing about cross-breeding and do not care to research. What I can research is the mixing of languages. By watching the fourth episode of The Story of English, I found out that southern American accents are actually evolutions of the Scottish English. This was due to the arrival of Scottish immigrants who traveled down the mountains. I guess that Scottish English and American English got along pretty well and gave birth to hillbillies. Well, not hillbillies but what comes out their mouth. That still sounds pretty unsettling and weird. A factor of evolution that I would like to see more of in language is natural selection. Why are you proud of your accent because no one understands it? In nature, you don't see white tigers showing off to their orange counter parts how they can't hunt because they're always spotted when they hide.

"The Guid Scots Tongue." The Story of English. Writ. Robert McCrum and Robert MacNeil. Dir. Vivian Ducat, Howard Reid. BBC MCML XXXVI. YouTube.